Guide to Throwing a Baby Shower

It is estimated that half of new mums-to-be in the UK have a baby shower. As it is a relatively new event in this country, many people are worried that they will do it wrong; after all there is no precedent in the family for what to do. The main areas where people feel concerned are: timing, who hosts it, presents, cost and who to invite. In this blog we aim to give you some guidance on all these issues. Firstly, however, let’s clarify what a baby shower is. In its simplest form it is a celebration of the birth or imminent birth of a new baby. It is where friends and family of the mother (or parents) meet to share advice on bringing up children, offer support to the mother (or parents) and bring gifts for the baby. Traditionally in the USA it is for the first child, although this is not a strict rule. 1. When to hold a baby shower: many people still feel it is tempting fate to receive presents and celebrate a birth before it happens, so a baby shower can be held after the birth. The down side of this is that the mum could well be tired and/or anxious and really not feel like a party. If you do decide to hold the baby shower before the birth (as in the US tradition) it should be into the third trimester – probably about a month before the due date. A good time is when the mother-to-be goes on maternity leave as work colleagues will want to wish her well. 2. Who should organise the Baby Shower? – the person who organises/hosts the shower should certainly not be the mother or father- to-be. Ideally it would be a joint effort between a close friend and a relative (sister, mother or aunt). This shows that the event is a celebration and not an excuse to receive lots of presents. The organiser should, however, consult with the mum-to-be - it should not be a surprise party. 3. Who pays for the baby shower? – the person who hosts the party should pay for it, which is why having more than one organiser/host is a good idea. A baby shower tends to be an informal event, so can be held at one of the hosts’ houses or a clubhouse/ pub function room. Light refreshments plus a cake are all that is necessary, so you can share catering responsibility. Other costs will include invitations, decorations, goody bags and prizes for games. As with all parties the organiser needs to set a budget and stick to it. 4. Should there be a present list? – family and friends will want to buy any new-born baby a present, particularly if it is the first grand-child in the family. A first time mum will certainly need the some larger basic equipment like cots, prams and baby baths, but she may have made arrangements with family members for purchasing these. (I bought my pram with money left to me by my grandmother, so I always felt it was her gift to my family). A present list is helpful in that it gives a guide as to what the mother wants, however it can look a bit greedy, particularly if it is from an expensive store. Many people like to give gender specific gifts, so if the sex of the baby is not known you could request no presents until after the birth. Guests at your baby shower should certainly NOT be expected to give a gift at the shower and then again after the birth. 5. Who should be invited to a Baby Shower? Traditionally a baby shower was an all female event, but as Dads become more involved in parenting, there is no reason why it cannot be thrown for the couple. The organiser should discuss the guest list with the parents-to-be and agree on who should be invited. The number of people attending will influence where the party will be held and the budget. As a general rule of thumb 20% of people invited will not be able to attend, so if you invite 50 people, expect 40 to attend. Invitations should be sent out 6 weeks before the shower and include: who, where, when, RSVP details and a gift list if there is one. When organising a baby shower it should be remembered that this is an informal event of celebration that should reflect the wishes of the couple having the baby. There are no set rules, so just go with what feels right.